"YO...That salary cap be gettin' on my last neerrrve.   My man
Dustin won a Stanley Cup and they shipped his ass to the ATL."






"Congratulations... lets go get Stanley and bring him to Chicago"








"STOP IT RIGHT HERE...This asshole talks a good game; but
when he played in the NHL what did he have in common
with the Lion and the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz?
Oh...and when he coached in the NHL what did he have
in common with the Scarecrow?"








"Kane, Versteeg, and Madden...My Kind of Guys"

Using hockey lingo..."This is what we call a two-on-one"


 

Seven stitches and you miss the rest of the game? 
Are you crying?  THIS IS THE GODDAMN NHL Kane!!!
You're making a ton of money... Play through the pain!!!
The late Keith Magnuson could take 7 stitches
from a gin-soaked doctor and not miss a shift.

I beg you...Please bring me to Chicago...
I hated Detroit... I'm already tired of Pittsburgh...
Please bring me to Chicago....
Pleeeaaassseeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






November 15th is "Jeremy Roenick Heritage Night"
at the United Center.  This picture was taken during the
NHL lockout in 1994.  (Photo taken by the late Bill Wirtz)







The Toronto Maple Leafs are in town this weekend.
Dave Keon was born in 1940...(We're not saying they suck) but
given the opportunity, this hard-nosed 69 year old could
probably make the current roster.

 



Hey look...Its Mark Messier...What's he doing on SLAPSHOTCHICAGO.COM?
We're posting a very rare photo that doesn't include a river of tears streaming
down his face.  Is it me; or is this bald headed bastard crying (or on the verge of tears)
all the time?  Come on Mark, lighten up, enjoy life...stop cryin' like a little baby before we
send a boozed up Bob Probert to pay you a visit...He'll give you something to cry about!!!






God Bless Chicago Wolves defenseman (and former Blackhawks Captain)
Chris Chelios.  He's always been a Chicagoan at heart.  Here we see him
preparing to throw a warm glass of urine on unsuspecting Redwings fans during
one of their lame-assed Stanley Cup Parades.

Hello, my name is Antti Niemi, and here is your first Finnish lesson.
Repeat after me “Olen paras maalivahti”…”I am the best goalkeeper”

"Oh...And I'm the reason the Flames blow big leads?"

 "Maybe it's time for me to make a comeback!"

 "Dont blame me; I'm not the idiot that signed Huet"

Monday morning Blackhawks Ice-Crew Members attempt to show

Christabal Huet how to properly cover a net...The attempt failed.

Monday night Huet gave up 3 goals on 5 shots.  We think any of

these lovely Ice-Crew members would protect the 5-hole better than Huet.

"Of course I'm looking forward to the start of the hockey season. 
That's when the pay-checks start rolling in.  I love hockey.  The game has
really changed for the better, and so has my play-by-play style.  People don't
want to hear about what's happening on the ice anymore.  They would
rather hear about my favorite restaurants, or hear me joke with "Edzo"
about his love of  horse racing, or hear about the beauty of one of our local golf
courses.  Hey, did I tell you about the incredible steak I had at Gibsons the other night?

Officials must prepare.  Here a young Gary Como practices the

"SMILE SLIGHTLY BEFORE YOU DROP THE PUCK" technique

he perfected as a Linesman in the World Hockey Association.

    "HEY KANE...ARE YOU TALKIN' TO ME?  ARE YOU TALKIN' TO ME?  WHO THE HELL ELSE ARE YOU TALKIN' TO?

  ARE YOU TALKIN' TO ME?   WELL I'M THE ONLY ONE HERE...WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKIN' TO?"













"Yes I'm a Doctor, the name is Quackenbush.  When I examined Mr. Hossa
I determined that his discomfort was caused by an inflamed and swollen wallet. 
I was able to reduce the pain and swelling by removing his cash.  I then rubbed

 Witch-Hazel on his butt cheeks and told him he looked handsome in the moonlight.  
Through the Grace of God and Modern Medicine he was cured!!!  I asked him if he

felt like a million bucks?  He said NO...He felt like 62.8 Million bucks.   That's when I

smiled and lit my cigar...My job was done.  His shoulder was fine I tell you!!!

I stake my reputation on it...Damn it I'm a Doctor!!!"











"Hey....This aint my mess!!! YES, I forgot to mail the offers to the free agents.
YES, I forgot to get a physical on Hossa before I signed him.  YES, I gave Brent Sopel
all of that money; but when I get sad, I close my eyes and sing my favorite Oscar Winning
song from a few years back, written by 3 Six Mafia called IT'S HARD OUT HERE FOR A PIMP"








This Blackhawk convention attendee enjoys hearing
Pierre Pilote talk about how much fun he had while raising
cattle and owning many businesses following his playing career.










Next year the Blackhawk Convention will feature a
special  "Meet Stanley" symposium; where captivating
Hall of Famer Pierre Pilote will give a brief history on
every name engraved on the Stanley Cup. 







"It felt like I got hit in the balls by a Bobby Hull Slapshot"






In this  photo taken at the 2008 Blackhawk Christmas Party
we see Martin Havlat giving John McDonough something 
Czechoslovakians refer to as "moci lazne" (urine bath)...
Poor Marty...It was the beginning of his end in Chicago. 








"At least when I was in charge there were plenty
of seats available, and you didn't have to wait in
line to buy a beer or take a piss"






"The next time you'll see me smile I will be
gazing at my reflection on the Stanley Cup...
Until then...All you'll get is a scowl...
Hey, you would scowl too if you had to deal with my
cap-space issues."









To save on "cap space" new Hawks GM Stan Bowman plans
to use local men's league goaltender Bob Rundgren as
Christobal Huet's backup.  Rundgren will sign for the same
$10 bucks a game he makes as an Off-Ice Official for the Chicago Wolves.
Bowman also plans to save money at home games  by using
local referee Jeff Mussatto instead of an NHL referee...
Mussatto will be paid $50.00 dollars per game.







Not many people know that the original Rockford Ice Hogs were a group of 
female hockey players who enjoyed a weekly game of shinny back in the
early 1920's.  Rockford's original Police Chief Fred "Shecky" Gnoyke was asked by reporters
what he thought of the pretty puck handlers.  He said "Nice Hogs"  The reporter thought
he said "Ice Hogs" and gave them a full page story in the Rockford Beacon...
That is how the team was named.







This billboard would look nice right across from Joe Louis Arena



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This AHL Goal Judge  is know by many                                    "God Bless Rocky"                 "Heaven on Madison Street "          
hockey fans as Bob “The Chairman” Lilla.                         "He brought back Hockey"
He's hugging the "booze filled" Calder Cup                       He'll bring the Stanley Cup
the Chicago Wolves drank from in 2008…                         to Chicago!